This inquiry came up recently in a conversation and also was hotly discussed: does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis?

Joe C., Los Angeles

Illustration by cheese Signorino

Cecil replies:

Only unsecured California degenerates such together yourself room interested in things favor this, Joe, however what the heck, ns haven’t gotten any type of threatening letters from the postal inspectors in weeks, and it’s time come shake those suckers up. The answer to your question, very enough, is correctly — pigs do have actually corkscrew-shaped penises.

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You may think ns making this up, but Uncle Cecil is here to tell you he never makes points up. Allow me come quote native Reproductive behavior in Ungulates, by A.F. Fraser: “The path of intromission in the pig is unique. In this species, the male, when mounted, makes thrusting actions through the penis, which repeatedly makes semi-rotary actions. Only as soon as the spiral glans penis that the boar becomes lodged strictly in the certain folds of the cervix go the activity stop and also ejaculation commence. It is clear, in fact, that the locking the the cock in the cervix acts as the necessary stimulus come ejaculation in the boar.”

Accompanying this i is a advantageous drawing revealing that not only does the masculine pig have a corkscrew-shaped wanker, the female pig has actually a corkscrew-shaped receptacle, together it to be — actually, a corkscrew-shaped cervix. Cecil is mindful that in humans the penis doesn’t pass through the cervix, however as must be evident by now, over there are plenty of differences between human and also porcine sex-related practices, the principal exception being a girl ns met in St. Luigi in 1974. But I digress.

I regret to report that hours of diligent research have failed to revolve up one actual photograph of the pig’s remarkable Roto-Rooter. For part reason, publishers of livestock breeding manuals favor to i have announced lavish picture spreads the pigs’ anuses, for which ns can’t confess to having actually any particular fascination. Fortunately, cartoonist slug Signorino, being the sensitive artistic genius that he is, has managed to come up through the lifelike representation shown here, which gives you the an easy idea.

Much remains to be learned around pig reproductive physiology. Because that instance, that unclear whether the male pig, in the middle of his amatory labors, employs a clockwise or a counterclockwise rotation. It might be that pigs come in both versions, similar to right- and left-handed humans. We deserve to only guess in ~ the life that heartache and also misery that need to await the tiny Porky equipped through a left-handed device in a people of right-handed Petunias.

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Furthermore, in check out of the locking activity of the masculine member in the cervix, we have the right to imagine the danger of the male and female reproductive organs coming to be cross-threaded throughout the warm of romance, causing the lover being can not to different themselves after perfect the act. For this reason we would certainly advise farmer to equip themselves v crowbars, graphite, and 3-in-1 oil, so that unintended tragedy might be prevented. Right here at the straight Dope, public company is our just goal.